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Really people? 


Jessica Dolcourt/CNET

Do not, under any circumstances, read this story to your dog. According to a new survey from SimpleTexting, a marketing agency behind mass text-messaging campaigns, 40 percent of smartphone owners would rather give up their pooch for a month than give up their phone. But don’t get too smug, humans, because 42 percent said they’d rather be away from their significant other for a month than surrender their device.

The survey quizzed 1,000 smartphone owners across all US 50 states, asking them what they’d give up to keep their phones.

Beverages proved even easier to give up, as 72 percent said they’d rather give up alcohol for a month, and 64 percent would rather give up coffee than their smartphones. But sex still has power: 53 percent of respondents said they’d give up their phone rather than sex for a month. 

The survey also asked which pleasures and habits respondents would be willing to give up for good if it meant they could permanently keep their phones. More than half, 57 percent, said they’d forever give up shopping at Amazon and Target, although only 39 percent said they’d permanently give up vacations.

The survey didn’t ask about cats, perhaps because the felines themselves might not even notice if their human companions left for a month — as long as the food dish stayed full.

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